ITS TIME TO literally LAUGH at the NWO staged nonsense
By
satire from DTRI, Posted in Humor
The supposed "suspected perpetrator" of the hoax Sydney Cafe siege is reported to be ---- An IRANIAN 'LONE WOLF NUT'....LOL....oh yeah!....let's eagerly look forward to other details which are likely to surface, such as
He had died his hair orange
He had Aspergers Syndrome
Was a nephew of Lee Harvey Oswald
Once campaigned for Ron Paul and Ralph Nader
Had PTSD
Listened to Alex Jones
Although Iranian believed in the US constitution and Bill of Rights
Had been a follower of Osama Bin Laden on Twitter till 2011
Was jealous of Dick Cheney's quail hunting skills
Had been a classmate of Adam Kokesh
Tended to spend weekends smoking crack and watching reruns of BREAKING BAD
Was constantly being rejected by women and couldn't get laid
Had a recent model Black Mercedes
Was related to an assistant director of one of the Transformers movies
Did not believe in Climate Change
Once wrote a nasty letter to John McCain
Celebrated for two weeks nonstop when CNN fired Piers Morgan
Used to say Newtown's GENE ROSEN was "the only jew I ever liked"
Ordered his SWAT gear wardrobe, online, legally
Didn't believe in militarization of police and staged the cafe siege to prove it ineffective
Loathed apple pie, motherhood, and Pat Boone
Believed the Illuminati had Killed Michael Jackson
Swore that he saw REAL TEARS on Robby Parker's face
Felt the TV show WEST WING was overly sentimental
Had a T shirt with Mohammed Atta's picture on it
Was an avid reader of LONE WOLF NUT magazine
Had written congress urging an investigation into the crash of Michael Hastings car
Once texted Uger at TYT calling him a bloated self-important opinionated know-nothing fop
Thought Nixon was innocent and the Washington Post had framed him
Considered Michelle Obama to be a shemale
Was adamant in believing Barack Obama was born in Kenya
Used to shout at the screen anytime Donald Trump came on TV - "Cut your hair!"
Believed Dunkin Donuts to be a CIA front company
Was a 3rd cousin of Nancy Lanza
Suspected Dick Morris is secretly in love with Hillary Clinton
Considered Chris Christie guilty of Bridgegate
Believed women who bind their feet to keep them small have the right idea
Had been depressed ever since USA Network cancelled UP ALL NIGHT with Gilbert Gotfried
Could not understand why David Lee Roth failed as Howard Stern's radio replacement
Had an addiction to SNICKERS candy bars and would go into a 4 day rage after eating one
Only had one song on his ipod -- SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL
Once ran a mail order business shipping backpacks to Jihadist teen boys who lived near Boston
Disagreed with that common belief that Rock Hudson had been gay, said he was actually rather dour
Was email buddies with Cliven Bundy
Had assisted with the SONY Hack
Worked part time in London as a video editor for ISIS
Lost emotional control every time someone would mention the phrase CLEANING WOMAN
Was producing a hate film to be called INNOCENCE OF VETERANS WITH GUNS which he hoped would cause global riots at various embassies
Was a contract printer for a company which disseminated truther materials about Chemtrails
Felt White House correspondent Ed Henry is... "pushy"
Insisted Valentines Day was originally on February 13th
Used to go onto long delusional fantasies believing he was former TV hero CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT --and in such states would drink a lot of Ovaltine
Once sent a postcard to Kim Kardashian saying WHY DON'T YOU SMILE, PARIS HILTON SMILES!
Kept in a storage warehouse a 1957 green Edsel which he called POLLY, and had long talks with late into the evenings
Had taught two parakeets to be able to say - IF YOU LIKE YOUR HEALTHCARE POLICY YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEALTHCARE POLICY
Considered Mitch McConnell a very dashing man
Believed Barack Obama had ordered a border stand-down in Texas to let a mass of illegals stream in- so as to tilt political voting patterns
Used to have hard boiled eggs for breakfast, without cracking the shell first
After GW Bush guested with Oprah, sent her a note saying HE'S A LIAR
Disagreed with COLUMBUS and firmly believed the world to be FLAT
Had sent over 1,00 handwritten letters to Baskin Robbins saying ISN'T IT TIME TO GO TO 32 FLAVORS?
While an exchange student in high school had lived in Dallas and worked weekends at the Texas School Book Depository, on the 6th floor. And used to carry curtain rods in a bag to work each weekend.
When Lou Dobbs left CNN he called CNN management on the phone and screamed for 20 minutes - YOU'LL REGRET IT
Had a speech impediment and could not pronounce the word TOFFEE
Desired to have a sex change operation and marry David Petraeus
Was zealous in saying the USA's "NASA spaceflight moonwalks" were a hoax because no human could pass thru the Van Allen radiation belt... to get to the moon
One wrote the phrase LAS VEGAS WALMART in the sand at the beach for 6 miles in row
Lived in an apartment which was totally wall-papered in posters saying 'ABOLISH THE US FEDERAL RESERVE, you foolish Americans, its not even part of the federal government for crying out loud'
He considered Dana Carvey the only truthful American Politician
Every year would send a birthday card to Mariah Carey saying -- "You're not gaining weight, you're fine!"
Would get into vicious fights with people over who was a better guitar player, Jimi Hendricks, or Les Paul?
For one entire year lived on on Lipton Cup 'O Soup, Wonder Bread, and Mike and Ike candy
Felt the TV show Seinfeld was actually in fact, a show...about SOMETHING - and that 'something' was "telling jokes while wasting time" - a propaganda preparation for the USA socialist welfare state to come
Used to like to watch the BBC's Graham Norton show while viewing the TV, upside down.
Regularly said if Russel Brand would grow a beard, HE WOULD LOOK AFGHANI
For one full summer in Tehran he drove an ice cream truck for a company called BAD HUMOR - VERY VERY VERY BAD HUMOR
Regularly told people the 4-year-old, ongoing, nuclear radiation leak at Fukushima Japan is... NO BIG DEAL
Loved the films ISHTAR and WATERWORLD
Used to gossip about Angelina Jolie and call her a "Minimally talented spoiled brat"
Constantly said the one film he wished he could forget was.... MEMENTO